Sunday, July 25, 2010
It's rare that I have days when I picture what it would be like to still have Janell with us. I suppose, if I ever met a little girl who was born on July 25th, 2004, maybe then I would wonder. Janell is an individual, not just any little girl could remind me of her. She would have to have been premature, she would have to have olive skin and curly brown hair. And it's hard for me to conceder Janell here with Phoenix and Scarlett.
The fact is, because she died, I have the children I have now. The world would be different if she had lived...
If she had lived...
If she had lived, tomorrow would be happy. Six birthdays are fun, right?
If she had lived, there would be three times the cuddles and three times the kisses.
If she had lived, bedtimes would be different, Christmas would be different, July would be different.
If she had lived, my four year old wouldn't have to understand death.
If she had lived, I wouldn't have to comfort two little kids, through my own tears, because they miss their sister.
If she had lived, our family would be different... the world would be different.